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The begining of my pain

Turning towards the light i forced my way through, using the walls i felt my way thru the darkness.

Suddenly lights! I was there. I felt hands on my head, pulling me gently. Finally i was saved.

Bright beautiful lights, white beautiful robes. A constant beeping sound frm sumwhere in the room. A woman moaning softly. A man smiling proudly. Saved at last!

It all changed.

He grabbed me, his face covered with a mask. He reached for something, his hands covered in blood. Snip snip. I felt cut off from my source.

Whack Whack!!

I cried.

They smiled.

The begining of my pain!

#Happy birthday to me.

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Innocence

Innocence is overrated. The smile of a little baby with no care in the world. As a child he knew things but never spoke about them. Just lets his face carry the notion of  innocence. Poker face…decisions decision all coming to bite him in the ass because of this well choreographed cross

The day I died

I could sleep tonite and not wake up tomorrow. I could close my eyes and be lost in that moment forever.  The last thing I may see in this life could be my ceiling or the wall beside my bed or my phone… hmmmm definitey the insides of my eyes lids. When i close my eyes…pure darkness…I’m no longer scared of the dark.  My nightmare is the reality which i find myself…my nightmare is my life…my last thought…that special someone…those permanent mistakes…those permanent scars. My life is like a music box..jst without the music. You open it and you hear nothing. Serious relationships, each worse than the other. Dear 50 year old couples, how do you do it. I need to sleep. I don’t need this right now…I hear the clock ticking now. Click, click. I open my eyes…pitch darkness. I try as much as possible to see something. Anything. Nothing. Not even a glimmer of light anywhere in the room. The walls seem to be closing around me. The room feels smaller. I close my eyes. Now I’m scared. Heart rate increased. Relax. Breathe. Ok. Where was I…oh yea. My worldly woes. No. I’m gonna count sheeps. 1, 2, 3, 4, damn this shit. It doesn’t work. (To be continued)

She doesn’t Remember

No direction (A child living in a man’s body)

I am a child living in a man’s body. Such an unbelievable trend. I need to see the future to know how this would all turn out. Filled with uncertainty i’m drifting further apart from my consciousness. OMG!!! its killing me slowly. As a child i already know that that nothing beats peace of mind.

A child living in a man’s body…

She’s a good girl from ****** state with its own rules and regulation and culture. The rules and norms from my state are just absurd and with parents that are very traditional, i’m between a rock and a hard place.

A child living in a man’s body…

I don’t know if they would like her. She’s under pressure from her relatives. She needs to get married soonest. I haven’t found my feet in the world yet. 9 years we’ve been together. 9 innocent years that is becoming unhealthy.

A child living in a man’s body…

Thrice it came, Thrice we got rid of it…the silent cry of an unborn child….no…three unborn children.

love, friendship, family and the unexpected mixed into an unholy grail

I am a child

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